FAY ROWE | Author/Speaker

In the next couple of weeks, many of us will spend more time with family than we have spent all year. We've been looking forward to it, working to make it perfect. If not perfect, than at least perfectly delightful.

Among those gathered will be some whom we see even less often than we do the others. Grandparents, or even great-grandparents, may be there presiding over the occasion, saying, as my father used to with his beaming smile, "Look at this! What a great bunch, Louie (my mom) we are responsible for!"

Unlike in generations past, elders are now not usually part of the lives of the third generation. The world is much smaller now, and work obligations scatter many family members throughout the country and even into foreign countries. As a result, children don't grow up around their elders and know very little about their lives.

Even at Christmas, when elders are around, conversations often center around the younger members of the family - what they're doing, where they're living, what they've accomplished. Probably quite naturally so, since it's the young ones who are doing the new things, moving, growing, and their cousins, aunts and uncles -as well as their doting grandparents - want to know all about it.

All the while, sitting there quietly, watching and enjoying the family camaraderie, are those who have lived the most. The family elders, those who won't be with us for nearly enough more Christmases, have treasures hidden in their hearts and memories that wait to be shared.

Their stories, fun-filled or infused with wisdom, are their richest gift for the family at any time, but especially so at Christmas, a time for special memories to be made.

Let's turn a little attention on them this year, and draw them out.

If you're the elder, you take the initiative. Engage. Call the children around for a chat. Ask about their latest stories, but don't fail to share your own. Share your life with them.

Have some eggnog and treats. Make it special.

For everyone.

"Children's children are the crown of old men; and the glory of children are their fathers" (Proverbs 17:5-7).